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Which — as you probably know if you’ve ever used Tinder — is fairly typical. “The stakes can feel lower, too,” Moon added: “You can text and flirt, but there’s no commitment to choose a label.You’re not going to a lesbian bar, or joining a queer rugby team.“I was swiping through the app when some of my friends asked to help out, which — encouraged by a couple of beers — I agreed to,” Ian told me in an email.“When they started seeing other guys appearing on it, it was pretty obvious I wasn’t straight.I’d known I was attracted to women since I was a teenager, but growing up in a religious, sometimes conservative environment, it was easier to push the feelings away than it was to pursue them. By the time I was in my mid-to-late 20s, I was lucky enough to have actually met some out queer people, and to be in a relationship with a supportive man who knew I identified as bisexual.I’d even hooked up with a few women, and had a brief love affair with one.After confirming this, it was a lot easier to just be blunt about who I was interested in.” For Ian, this way of coming out mercifully lacked the drama of making a formal announcement.

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After three and a half years together, the couple got engaged this past April.I was terrified of walking into a bar, hitting on a woman who was straight, and being rejected or making her feel uncomfortable.What’s more, I still didn’t know enough to really understand the type of woman I was attracted to.After years of listening to all the reasons why it’s not okay to be gay, it feels freeing to be in a virtual space that encourages you to just listen to what’s happening in your pants.Once people get real about that, then they can find true love.

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